Green Pee and Depression- What Alt-Med Got Me



Guest Post by Anonymous I served in the U.S. Navy from 2002 to 2006. I saw no combat-- I was a radio operator on an aircraft carrier-- so I had no idea how hard it was going to be to transition out of the military. After a 14-month-long deployment, I was honorably discharged, and in my first year as a civilian, I ended up in an abusive relationship and suffering from a serious drug problem. I didn't know it at the time, but these problems were caused (and worsened) by serious mental illness that was completely untreated. Pulling myself up from rock bottom was hard and painful. After a night in jail my abusive relationship was over. After a week locked in my best friend's guest bedroom crying, sweating, and puking, my addiction to prescription drugs and crack cocaine was over. When I emerged-- weighing about 100 pounds and with a shaved head-- I set out to “fix” myself, but I had no idea where to begin. The anxiety and delusion caused by mental illness makes it easy to believe things that aren't true, especially when they're comforting and when you've been burned by "the establishment." My hippie friends told me all about remedies and therapies they'd read online, and I accepted them. They said that I was depressed, so I should take Saint John's wort. They said I was malnourished so I needed to eat all organic, raw foods. They said I was manic, so I needed to use lavender oil and drink 25 cups of tea a day. They said I had no enthusiasm, so I needed to learn yoga and meditation. They said I was in pain all the time, so I needed acupuncture and herbs. I spent so much time and money pursuing these treatments, and they didn't help at all. I was beginning to think that the feelings I was having, and my inability to function normally, must be my fault. Those feelings of self-blame spiraled out of control for years and grew worse and worse. When my grandmother passed away last Thanksgiving, I went to bed and did not get up for a month. I was enrolled in school, but I didn't care and instead of studying or doing homework, I would climb into bed and cry. I kept telling myself that the vitamins and herbs had to be working and that if they weren't, I was to blame. But instead of relief, they gave me bright-green urine and a horrible case of depression. My grades suffered and I lost many of the things I once loved and valued. Finally, one day, I realized it: something was wrong with me, and I needed to go to a doctor. I regret that it took me as long as it did, but when I went to the doctor, he finally gave me hope. He diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress disorder and prescribed me Cymbalta, which I have been taking ever since. I started in cognitive-behavioral therapy. I threw out my herbs and potions. I started eating food that makes me happy, whether it's organic celery or a donut, and I don't feel guilty about it. I'm studying biology (thanks to this experience!) and I'm doing great. I have hobbies again. I get excited about things again. I finally have my life back thanks to evidence-based mental health care, and it pains me to think that I could have had this relief so much sooner if I'd just gone to a doctor instead of listening to my friends. If you are suffering, please seek treatment-- real treatment, not the kind that your friends suggest. You don't have to suffer anymore.

4 comments:

  1. I would like to congratulate you on your bravery to come forward and generosity in sharing this....

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  2. I agree with Ken Camargo, and let me add that I am truly happy that you have found relief! It's hard to admit to yourself when you have been duped, and it's really hard to correct. Bravo!

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  3. I am glad you are feeling better. Please make sure that you stick with it. Personally (and so many people I know), I have decided more than once that I was 'cured' and stopped taking medication. Disastrous. It is a chemical imbalance - just like diabetes. Life is good! :)

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  4. Awesome!! It took me awhile but I to have found the right combo and am much better then i was,

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